Arsenic and Old Lace by Joseph Kesselring | Full Story+Audiobook

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In a quiet neighborhood in Brooklyn lived two elderly sisters, Abby and Martha Brewster. They were gentle, kind, and much loved by everyone who knew them. Their house stood as a peaceful old home surrounded by flowers, with lace curtains fluttering at the windows. To any visitor, it seemed like the perfect place for tea, laughter, and good company. But inside this house was a secret so strange that no one would ever have guessed it. Abby and Martha had a peculiar hobby—one that involved offering kindness in a way that could send shivers down the spine.

The sisters lived with their nephew, Teddy Brewster, a cheerful man who believed he was Theodore Roosevelt, the President of the United States. He spent his days marching up the stairs as if they were San Juan Hill and blowing his bugle at odd hours, pretending to lead troops. Though odd, Teddy’s behavior seemed harmless, and the sisters adored him dearly. They took care of him with love and patience, letting him dig “locks for the Panama Canal” in the cellar, which was actually just a hole he kept enlarging.

Another nephew, Mortimer Brewster, was the only one in the family who seemed normal. He worked as a drama critic and lived nearby. Mortimer loved his aunts and often visited them between his busy work schedule. He had recently fallen in love with Elaine Harper, the girl next door and the daughter of the local minister. Their romance was sweet and simple, and Mortimer had finally decided to marry her. On the day he planned to share the good news with his aunts, he arrived at their house in high spirits, eager to tell them that he was engaged.

When Mortimer entered, Abby and Martha welcomed him with their usual warmth and served him homemade wine. Everything felt cozy and familiar, and Mortimer’s heart filled with gratitude for his gentle aunts. But as he looked around, he noticed a strange sight—a man sitting in the window seat, completely still. Curious, he opened the seat to check, and what he saw made his blood freeze. There lay a dead body. Mortimer stumbled back, shocked beyond words, staring at his aunts in disbelief. Abby calmly explained that the man was a lonely old gentleman who had come to rent a room, and they had given him some elderberry wine laced with arsenic, strychnine, and a pinch of cyanide.

Mortimer thought they were joking, but Abby and Martha spoke with such innocence that it became clear they were deadly serious. They didn’t see what they did as murder; they believed they were performing an act of mercy. To them, the old men who came to stay were lonely souls with no family and no hope. They believed it was kind to help them “find peace.” They kept the bodies neatly buried in the cellar, where Teddy believed he was burying yellow fever victims from the Panama Canal.

Mortimer could hardly breathe as he tried to explain to his aunts that what they were doing was a crime. But the sisters smiled sweetly and told him they had already helped twelve men find “rest.” Mortimer felt dizzy with horror. He didn’t know what to do—he couldn’t expose his aunts to the police; it would destroy them. Yet he couldn’t let them continue their dreadful deeds. To make things worse, Teddy might be blamed if the police found the bodies in the basement.

As Mortimer tried to figure out a solution, the doorbell rang. A man entered with a sneer that Mortimer recognized immediately. It was his other brother, Jonathan Brewster, who had left home years ago and turned into a criminal. Jonathan was cruel and violent, a man who made others tremble. With him came Dr. Einstein, a nervous and frightened plastic surgeon who helped Jonathan change his face after several crimes. Jonathan’s new face looked terrifying, and Dr. Einstein trembled constantly under his glare.

Jonathan had returned to Brooklyn to hide from the police, planning to use his old home as a refuge. But when he heard about the cellar full of bodies, he grew jealous. He had only killed one man recently, and now his aunts had twelve. His pride was wounded. He wanted to prove that he was still the most dangerous member of the Brewster family. Abby and Martha, however, were not happy to see him. They had never liked Jonathan’s temper and didn’t want him around. The tension in the house grew as night fell.

Mortimer’s mind raced. He had to protect Elaine, his fiancée, from discovering the horror hidden in his family’s home. She had come over earlier, eager to see him, but Mortimer had sent her away quickly, pretending to be busy. Now, with Jonathan’s arrival, things were getting out of hand. Jonathan decided to stay the night, even though Abby and Martha protested. Dr. Einstein pleaded with him to leave, but Jonathan refused. He needed a place to bury his own recent victim, Mr. Spenalzo, whose body he had hidden in the car.

Later that night, Jonathan brought the body inside. Mortimer, returning from outside, was shocked to find yet another corpse in the house. The two brothers faced each other like enemies in a dark comedy of madness. Jonathan’s eyes burned with fury, while Mortimer tried desperately to keep things under control. Dr. Einstein, caught between fear and guilt, kept drinking to calm his nerves. The house was turning into a nightmare, filled with lies, corpses, and confusion.

Meanwhile, the kind-hearted aunts continued to offer tea and cookies, completely unaware of the chaos around them. To them, everything seemed perfectly normal. They even offered Jonathan and Dr. Einstein a room for the night—without realizing Jonathan’s deadly intentions. Jonathan decided that Mortimer would be his next victim, believing it would be poetic justice to kill his own brother in the same house where so many others had died.

As Mortimer struggled to keep calm, he thought of a plan. He decided that the only way to save everyone was to have Teddy committed to a mental institution. If Teddy were sent away, the aunts might be persuaded to go with him voluntarily, which would save them from prison. He contacted the local authorities, pretending that Teddy’s condition had worsened. The officers who arrived were used to Teddy’s antics, but Mortimer managed to convince them that the situation required immediate action.

Just as things seemed to settle, Jonathan’s temper flared again. He tied Mortimer up in a chair, planning to kill him with Dr. Einstein’s help. The scene grew tense and frightening, but before Jonathan could carry out his plan, the police arrived unexpectedly. Officer O’Hara, a friendly but talkative policeman, had come to discuss a play he was writing, not realizing the horror unfolding in the house. Jonathan tried to hide his anger and act innocent, but his suspicious behavior made the officers curious.

In a strange twist of fate, the officers became distracted by Teddy’s loud bugle and his dramatic claim that he was digging the Panama Canal. Jonathan’s plan to kill Mortimer was delayed, and Mortimer seized the moment to escape. The police grew suspicious of Jonathan’s behavior and eventually recognized him as a wanted criminal. When they discovered the body of Mr. Spenalzo in the window seat, Jonathan was arrested immediately. His anger exploded as he was led away, cursing his family for ruining his life once again.

With Jonathan gone, the house fell silent. Abby and Martha sat calmly, still believing they had done nothing wrong. They were sad about Jonathan’s arrest but relieved that everything had quieted down. Mortimer, exhausted and heartbroken, tried once more to explain to them that they had to stop their dreadful “charity.” The sisters listened patiently but assured him they couldn’t stop helping lonely old men. It was their “calling,” they said softly. Mortimer was speechless, realizing he couldn’t change their minds.

At last, Mortimer succeeded in arranging for Teddy to be taken to Happy Dale Sanitarium, a peaceful institution where he could live safely. The sisters insisted they must go too, to take care of Teddy. Mortimer agreed, pretending that it was all part of his plan, though inside he was grateful they would finally be somewhere safe. Before leaving, Abby quietly mentioned that there were still two more gentlemen buried in the cellar whom she and Martha had not told him about yet. Mortimer nearly fainted again, but he quickly pushed the thought away and hurried them to pack their things.

Elaine returned, worried about Mortimer’s strange behavior. He held her hand and confessed everything he could—except the darkest parts. He told her that his family had a history of madness, and he feared he might not be any different. But Elaine smiled gently and told him that love could overcome any madness. Her faith in him brought tears to his eyes. They left together, hopeful for a new beginning away from the house of horrors.

As the sun rose the next morning, the house stood quiet once more. The sisters, cheerful as ever, were preparing to leave with the officers. They smiled and waved, thanking the police for being so kind. Mortimer watched them go, feeling a strange mixture of relief and sorrow. The dark secret of the Brewster home would finally be buried—at least, he hoped so. But as Abby turned back one last time and whispered to him that there was still “room for one more” in the cellar, Mortimer froze for a moment, unsure whether to laugh or cry.

The police car drove away, carrying the two old ladies who had thought they were doing God’s work. Mortimer and Elaine walked hand in hand down the quiet street, leaving behind the house filled with both love and madness. Though he tried to forget, Mortimer knew that some parts of his family’s past would always linger in the shadows of that old house, where lace curtains fluttered and the faint scent of elderberry wine hung in the air.

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